I found this blank journal when going through Mother's old things; Delphine was always a flighty one, taking up one hobby or another and never finishing any of them. Father, of course, only had the one hobby, and died pursing it, the stupid arse. Oh, Gods, enough of that. It won't do to dwell. I've spent quite enough of my life concerned with them, and others. So, thus begins the age of Pansy. I shall write in this journal to chronicle how much better my life is than theirs ever was. Because really, I am fabulously wicked, I am.

Merlin, I need a drink.

Mm. Drink is good. That Oscar is one bloody fantastic house elf. I'd never tell him that, of course. He'd have an attack, probably. But he's very good. Must stop threatening him so much.

Pfft.

Have felt a bit solitary as of late. It's not a worry, as I am clearly the most interesting and fabulous person that I know, but it does get a bit quiet. Can always count on Tracey for Tuesdays - torture and tiramisu (love her!), and Daphne is around a bit, but Blaise has been sporadic and snarkier than usual lately. I don't even really want him to do my potions anymore. Hm. Do need potions. Almost out of hangover relief. Must seek out new apothecary. Bother.

Other friends still away, of course. Haven't heard from Greg, Draco(traitor) or Theo(prat) in ages. Bastards. Don't need them, anyway.

Have felt a bit uneasy as well, lately. Can't put my finger on it, but it's as if I'm being watched. Liquor helps. Must drink more, as that is obviously the smart solution. Will start new regime involving deadening brain as soon as I get out of bed each morning. Hm. Will have to find alcohol that doesn't cause weight gain. Or could just stop eating. Hm. Diet of Vodka and hangover potion. Will probably lose five kilos the first week. Hurrah.

Also, must find some male or other to relive all the tension as of late. Well, the tension that the vodka doesn't take care of, anyway. Merlin, I do so hate training new ones up. Would that there was a spell that would teach them all they need to know so that I wouldn't have to. It's a pain in the arse, is what it is.

Where is that elf with my other drink? Mmm. Shall go out later to buy myself something pretty to make self feel better. Merlin, I love being me.

You'd better hope I don't catch you reading this. Seriously, if I haven't caught you yet, I will. And I throw a mean hex. Be forewarned.